When Worlds Collide
by anotherweasley
Summary: Continuation of the episode "4-D." What happens after Monica and John hug?


When Worlds Collide  
By: Olivia  
  
"There's been times/I'm so confused/All my roads/They lead to you/Just can't turn and walk away/It's hard to say what it is I see in you/Wonder if I'll always be with you/Words can't say it/I can't too/It's all for you."-Sister Hazel-"All For You"  
  
"My faith in things unseen/My belief that it'll all work out,/May seem like a strange cup of tea,/But if it's all right with you,/Then it's all right with me."-Sister Hazel-"Strange Cup Of Tea"  
  
  
John keeps whispering in my ear. "What's wrong, Monica? Please tell me what's wrong."  
  
I already answered him. I told him I am good, that everything is fine. Now everything is fine.  
  
I cling to him tighter, holding him in this hug. I need to feel him. To make myself believe that this is all real. My Doggett is back and that he's okay.  
  
John for his part just holds me. He is unable to comprehend; unable to figure out what has caused my tears, what has caused me to embrace him in the biggest hug we have ever shared.  
  
Nothing is wrong now. John is alive. Well I should say my John Doggett is fine. He's alive and in perfect health just as he had been before he disappeared from my apartment.  
  
The tears that now streak down my face are tears of joy, tears of relief. My John is back in my life.   
  
It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, stopping the other Doggett's life support. The way the light died from his eyes, the forgiveness and gratitude I saw there, it was more than I could bear. He massaged my hand with the only part of him that was not paralyzed, his finger, until he could do that no longer, until death came for him, summoned by me. Even in death he was trying to comfort me as he does in life right at this moment.  
  
All I had was my belief that the universe would right itself, that my Doggett would come back if this Doggett was dead. Dead. The very word makes me shudder in horror. When I pressed that button terminating the other Doggett's life support, I wanted to die with him.  
  
I did it to bring my Doggett back into this universe, but I also did it because that's what the other Doggett wanted. He wanted to die. He didn't want to live paralyzed for the rest of his life. I hurt for him that he was paralyzed, but he was alive. And I would care for him; take care of him paralyzed or no. Together we would live in whatever condition we were placed. I would never abandon him.  
  
Perhaps this other Doggett didn't want to live without his Monica? She had been slain at the hands of that monster. Maybe he blamed himself for her death, that he had allowed her to be put in harm's way as a decoy, that he was unable to reach her in time to save her. It's probably just fancy on my part. He probably just didn't want to live this way, unable to take care of himself. He didn't want to be vulnerable.  
  
My John releases me from our hug and puts his hands on my shoulders. He looks intently at my tear-streaked face looking for any clue as to what's wrong with me. Always the detective that John Doggett.  
  
"It's just Polish sausage, Monica. It's nothing to get upset about."  
  
I laugh out loud. If only it was about that.  
  
John's even more concerned now. I'm touched by it, but I feel the urge to assure him that everything is okay.  
  
I place my hands on his resting on my shoulders. "Everything is fine, John. Really. I'm sorry. Why don't you go out in the living room and I'll bring in the plates."  
  
John takes his hands off my arms. He is unconvinced, but he'll play along for now. "Okay, but some time soon, you're gonna tell me what's this is all about."  
  
I nod.  
  
John walks back out into the living room mumbling, "I still don't think we need plates for Polish sausage."  
  
I smile as I watch him go. Someday I'll tell him. Not now. Maybe after we've worked some more X-Files cases together. He wouldn't believe the story any way. There's no factual evidence to proof my experience happened. But I know. I would do anything for him. And I had. My John has been restored to me. And that's all that matters. 


End file.
